I’m sure you are all thinking wow it has been a minute since I last wrote a life advice/opinion piece. Well luckily I spent this past weekend with my boys who sparked my interest in a conversation about earning more money than your partner. Which then inspired this blog post. The conversation started with one of our friends admitting to being emotionally and physically abused by his girlfriend. According to him the abuse comes purely as a result of his girlfriend believing she is better than him, owns him and can do whatever she wants, when she wants because she is the breadwinner in the relationship.
Before all my judgmental triggers kicked in, I first had to ask myself: Would I honestly date a guy that earns less than me and if I did how would I treat them? Before we get into my answer let me just start off by adding my 2 cents to my friends situation:
1. When you enter into a relationship there should always be mutual respect for one another. If you went into the relationship knowing your partners situation then it shouldn’t be the only reason that now makes you disrespect your partner. If you were hoping that he would become a golden boy eventual and it doesn’t happen then instead of degrading and devaluing another human being, just walk away from the situation. Maybe you are simply not the person that was meant to help him excel in life.
2. One crucial mistake people make when dating someone who earns less than them is forgetting to adjust their lifestyle. If you are used to a certain quality lifestyle standard always remember that when you date someone who earns less, you need to understand what kind of a lifestyle they can afford before forcing yours onto them. Some of you ladies love dating guys who you know very well can not afford your champagne lifestyle. All this does is make your partner feel emasculated and he will end up resenting you.
3. Throwing him into the deep end when you know he can’t swim… 10 times out of 10 what happens is he will drown. It’s really that simple. Forcing someone who clearly can not afford a lifetime commitment to certain things (like marriage/cohabitation) and not communicating your intentions always leads to a failed relationship. Also dating someone who is unambitious and hoping that they will change is as they say “like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
4. Learn to defend your choices. We love making certain life decisions and then give wish washy answers when we are asked about them. Why date a guy who you feel embarrassed about? If you can’t stand by the choices you make then just don’t do it. You will end up saying something that makes your partner resent you or that makes you hate yourself (your words are powerful use them wisely). Don’t put yourself in situations that you are not willing to back up! Your friends and other extras will always have something to say and most of the time it won’t be what you want to hear, so either prepare to be the Chuck Norris of defense for your man because throwing him under the bus does not only make you look stupid but jeopardises your relationship!
5. Abuse in any form is not ok! Geez guys seriously this leaving thing is simple… If you are really that unhappy then leave, just go! Even if your partner asks you to stay be a better human and just go. If they even reach this point then congratulations you have broken their self-esteem to the point that they no longer see their own value, what an achievement, you horrible human being!! Abuse affects us all male or female stop assuming that just because he is a man it is ok!
Anyway my 2 cents is over for now, back to my answer which I guess is a simple YES & NO🙂 . Instead of writing an essay about it I figured I will just draw a simple table that explains my answer:
So ladies would you date a guy that earns less than you? Please do share your thoughts in the section below🙂 Guys feel free to share yours too.
Disclaimer: Before some of you get upset or angry and go on hectic rants in my mentions, I am not a relationship expert, I’m just a blogger who is just sharing some thoughts that have been stuck on my mind all day. I would love to hear your views too so please don’t be shy to share…
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